what I can(t) get over

1. I am fed up of my internet that never works, for me to constantly having to reconnect to the substandard router and having to pray for the connection to be successful (‘How terribly first-world’ comments are not appreciated),

2. The home that I have waited for two years to be built – but to never actually complete. The contractor who says he is ‘hard at work’, but eating away my father’s hard earned money,

3. My hair which never fails to flop back onto my face, over my eyes, despite how many times I try to pull the strands of hair back over my forehead in an attempt to keep them in position. I do not want other people to admire my hair. I am not arrogant. I am not an introvert,

4. I am fed up of having to care and respond to those people who do not care for me in the same way,

5. I am fed up of the people persistently underestimating my friends,

6. I am tired of the people marginalising each other through competitive attitudes. Why can’t we live in an idealistic world where everyone is happy and grateful for each other?

7. I am tired of the constant judgement that is my life and how I decide to live it,

8. I am ungrateful of the people who continue to expect things from me and who they feel I need to consistently impress. I am not an offspring of your ego. I am not your idealistic vision of perfection. I have my life to get back to,

9. I loathe that one idea I couldn’t think of,

10. I despise the one key on my keyboard that my finger couldn’t hit; that one person that decided to never become my friend despite all my efforts; the single subject I didn’t achieve an ‘A’ in; the one person that didn’t think I could make it; the tear that hits my lip instead of rolling down my cheek; that one senior that did not respond to my curious text; the destiny that wasn’t for me; that one life that I couldn’t live and that one smile that couldn’t be mine,

I am content with all that I am – and all that I am not.

Dedicated to: Kirat and Zuha – imperfection is the morale, queens.


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